What if pre-flight announcements were truthful?

I just saw this linked on Boing Boing. I can't help laughing but some might find it scary instead of funny :)
Here is a snippet:

Your life-jacket can be found under your seat, but please do not remove it now. In fact, do not bother to look for it at all. In the event of a landing on water, an unprecedented miracle will have occurred, because in the history of aviation the number of wide-bodied aircraft that have made successful landings on water is zero. This aircraft is equipped with inflatable slides that detach to form life rafts, not that it makes any difference.